i feel alone because

the people i want to care the most or care PERIOD dont.or dont do it enough.so i do have some people who care but then they arent there when i really need them to be.or they come and go.i want people that will always be there.then other people that do care no offense but i dont give a shit about them too much honestly so it doesnt even count.i know they say beggers cant be choosers but sometimes i think that phrase doesnt apply to everything.sometimes the people that should care and try hard enough dont.or maybe they try a little bit too hard and are pushy like my "big sis" that wants to know every detail to a problem and makes it uncomfortable because she think she knows everything.so even though she has laid off me i still dont feel that i can go to her so easily even though shes trying to reassure me that its ok.it will take some time.until then im still a little hesitant. to be honest,i want people my own age or age group young adults maybe like 2 or 3 AT LEAST and irl right in my face good friends.i dont have that.those few "friends" are out of state and i dont talk to them all the time.i miss the good old days where i could talk to a person all the time they hit me up just as much as i hit them up they could hold conversation we could talk about random things but in the mist of that know alot about each other.now a days people are there just to vent to yall vent to each other or they can barely hold conversation they leave you hanging you always hit them up smh.things need to get better.