Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The More Days That go by and shit doesnt get better?

the more harder it is for me to love myself.My hair is falling out and breaking off bad.So bad that its a short ass uneven mini fro now.My hair was so healthy a month ago and was growing without breakage for i dont know what to do with it myself.if i were able to go to the salon they'd be able to "tame it" and style it.But i dont have the money to do so.i dont have winter clothes and its cold as shit outside.i barely have "friends" more like associates.they're all half ass and in their own world doing them.and its fine ,it's my life is MY life.not theres'. i dont ask anyone for anything.but i still secretly hope someone will reach out and REALLY attempt to try consistently. so i still have one can really help things get better.i am hurting so bad one REALLY has any idea wtf is going on with honestly loosing all motivation.i dont want to hear about anybody telling me im "playing the victim".i barely tell anyone shit for anyone to assume such a thing.whenever i go through my on again off again phases of not going outside for days and get lazy its because i dont want to face the world just to be knocked down again.i suck at life.whatever brings me some type of happiness during the day is shit off the fucking internet or t.v thats not physically basically saying everything that was in my recent video if you watched it.but i started having the feeling again and had to vent it too young to be living like this.i dont even know if its going to stop ot when.i feel like im loosing myself,and loosing my mind.

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