thoughts from gina.

startin 2 get lonely again real talk.ive been a loner for mayb 2 yrs with a few friens hea nd there that ive chilled with but it gets old when they come aroun rarely.u get lonely.especially when your not doing anything productive.because maybe if i was the shit wouldnt suck as much or at all. theres no1 aroun besides fam(2 brother and moms)dat gives a damn but they be in their own shit that sometimes you feel like they dont.i dont have no close friends.this has never happerned b4.they all vanished ova stupidness.im starting 2 feel like its my fault.but theres still that part of me that knows shit was blown outta proportion.i dont fuckin know..and idk wha to do..im just like waiting and wondering.when is shit gonna get better? when am i gonna actually have sum true reliable lean on me type friends nd most that live here?when am i gonna be able 2 get my shit 2getha with the job nd the GED which are my 2 main things that would get my life goin?when am i gonna have a companion?its been a year now.the year just flew.ive talked 2 a decent grip of niggas but the shit didnt work out.lousy ass niggas.idk about anything.im in the same place i was last year and i just wanna stop having to justify and explain my situations.i just want the shit to happen.im more worried now about shit with me being 18.i dont wanna be a low-life yo.thats my biggest fear.be one of those types of people that have so much talent and potential but wind up workin at a minimum wage job or like sumthing that isnt even in the line of work that they wanted as a career.yea thats it..i dont wanna have a job all of my life i want to be able 2 get a career.not now obviously but it doesnt hurt 2 start early.nigga cant even get a job let alone that psh.u got felons and immigrants,niggas who steal at their previous jobs and child molesters gettin jobs b4 my ass does smh it makes me loose self motivation and then loose aggressiveness and then just procrastinate and become lazy.its a bunch a bull.and im worried..so worried about everythin that should be happening but isnt..