Friday, July 3, 2009

i have to post this for my own sanity

i cant take the shit anymore..the way my life is going.yu kno like.. i dont wanna bitch about it because there's people suffering worse.. WAY worse.But when ya living YOUR life you worry about your surroundings &nd wats goin on inside your little bubble 90% of the time lets be fucking honest here. I have NOTHING to call my own,no job,no1 to really hand with here cuz idk who ta trust nd who to actually call friends,no GED. i just dont have SHIT to call my not trynan feel sorry for myself so stfu.and im not bein negative im bein realistic here.i mean here i am 18 ive barely had a "teenage life".nd now im able 2 to do shit nd i still havent done nuttin.i dont wanna hear dat 'BUT YOUR YOUNG! DONT WORRY!' fuckin BULLSHIT. im young but im gettin olda. nd as i get olda the days pass by faster. here we already fukin are in the middle of da ga'damn year.if u want me 2 'live my life 2 da fullest' espwecially wen im still young den dont tell me dat bull.and its not like i dont try 2 get my shit 2getha.dats wha hurts.

im starting to loose self-motivation. even wen i want sumthin REALLY bad im so fuckin lazy i dont push myself to da fullest.espcially wen u keep tryn dats wen u loose self-motivation.i got my damn score back for my test and i wasnt even hardly close to passing.i dont know if it was cuz of dat month hiatus or if it even b4 dat wen i thought i started hard.did i really? smfh. im dissapointed im depressed.da one person i can really find myself talking 2 about this and dem listen nd really understand me &nd not judge and know what to say as far as 'words of encouragement and wisdom'.. is trell..nd his ass is not even aroun ..i miss him :/ but i guess he got his own shit goin on thats why he not aroun..i guess. -sigh-. But yea i need 2 get away..SUMTHIN..i dont even wanna type anymore.i need sum1 to actually talk 2 aside frum my mom or IF i decide to talk 2 my 'big sis'.sum1 in my age group.dis isnt really helpin like it usually would so i guess dats it for now..pce..

1 comment:

  1. we in the same damn boat. 18 years old without shit going on. Feeling like the teen years just dissolved away right in front of you. I know how you feel...I really do. All I can say is that your time will soon come. Yea, I know it sounds real corny but it's true. Get your priorities together and take it easy and don't stress yourself over this too much.